Procrastination of Dreams
Somehow, June has arrived and life has seemed to be on fast forward and pause all at once. On our regular evening facetime chat, Marissa and I came up with the profoundly mundane thought that we are procrastinating on our dreams.
I write these words from States Coffee, where I serve as a barista and sit amongst students who are studying for finals. I remember the word “procrastination” being thrown around daily when I was a UCSB student. It was the epitome of spontaneity and distraction from work that “should” be done. I would often sit at Cajé in Isla Vista with a paper open on my computer but talk for hours to my neighbor instead of writing. Procrastination as a Fine Art major often meant running off to the sunset, working on personal projects over homework and going to gatherings to distract from the looming responsibilities of work.
If you know me, you may know I have a dream of having a Castle/Artist in residency in the countryside. I dream of long crowded tables, art retreats, lush gardens, hospitality, a hearth and cups of tea shared over deep conversations. This dream was birthed out of my first year in Paris as an artist in need of rest, refuge, community and space. The DNA of this dream is simple and I see it play out in small in between moments of my life. The Castle Dream is a yearning for what the author of Hebrews describes “longing for a better country--a heavenly one.” (Hebrews 11:16).
Perhaps the procrastination of this dream has come with a unique blessing: I am finding the magnificence and citadel of community in the in-between moments of light. In-between, after all is defined as “situated somewhere between two extremes”… procrastination, in its best sense has allowed me to sit in this liminal unknown season and recognise beauty in new ways.
Here are some of these holy moments, captured on my Pentax film camera this year. (Fujifilm 400 & Illford HP5) Featuring Joshua Tree, Half Moon Bay, The Flower Fields and Martinez
